“This country is ridiculous!”
How often does that thought go through my head?
The statement is frequently caused because a man has inquired about my marital status. I’m single and no, I don’t want to have a discussion about it!
The following is a typical conversation I may have any given day. This one, however, happened to my friend at the gym:
Man: “Are you married.”
Friend: “No, but I have a boyfriend.”
Man: “But you’re not married?”
Friend: “We’re pretty serious. We’re planning on getting married.”
Man: “Oh… you’re so lucky to have found your special someone. I haven’t found anyone yet. I thought you might be her.”
I can’t help but laugh when men yell “Marry me!” in the street. Do they honestly think that’ll work? Do I look that stupid/gullible?
What I don’t find so amusing, however, is when men in authority positions hit on me. For example, last month I flew to Zambia and to leave South Africa (regardless of where you’re going), you have to go through Passport Control.
It was 9:30am Saturday morning and I was brutally sleep-deprived and hung over. I handed my passport to the official and smiled, “Good morning.”
He opened it up and looked at it with a serious expression, then said, “Where’s your main man?”
I had no idea what he’d just asked. “Pardon?”
“Where’s your main man?”
I must have heard wrong through the accent. “Pardon?”
“Where’s your main man?”
“Did you ask me where my main man is?”
I was stunned. He was holding my passport and theoretically could stop me from flying to Zambia. Was I obliged to be polite to him?
“I don’t have a main man.”
“Not even a boyfriend?”
At this point I burst out laughing. The whole situation was too ridiculous. “Thanks for reminding me so early in the morning!”
“Could you consider my CV?”
“WHAT?” I thought to myself, He can’t actually be hitting on me, can he? That’s so unprofessional. But, once again, I felt like I needed to be polite until he approved my passport.
I smiled and changed the topic to ask him about himself. When he finally handed my passport back to me he said, “Don’t you want my CV?”
“No thanks,” I said as I speed-walked away.
See? See how ridiculous this country can be? And these were only two stories. I have way more I could include.
When I went home for Christmas, I decided to change my tactic. From now on, if anyone asks me where my main man is, the answer will be along the lines of “He’s waiting for me at [wherever I’m heading]. He had to go early to pick up a new gun for his weapon collection. I better not be late because he’s crazy jealous and worries easily.”
I even brought back an engagement ring to wear! I’d considered doing this in Canada in the past – even back home people don’t seem to believe I’m single by choice. But I was afraid it would only filter out the nice guys from the creepers and leave me with the creepers.
Here, however, I’ll do anything to decrease male attention. Even be a little bit ridiculous myself!